Classic Collision Atlanta #312

Posted on 24. Aug, 2015 by in Classic Collision Atlanta

4/24/13

Back to Joyce, Back to Joyce, Back to Joyce..

I cannot stand getting sidetracked…especially when it comes to my trying to continue, on my path.

The other day, I had mentioned several things that had happened to her. Now, Id like to elaborate on how these things were similar to in this situation.

1. She spent her entire childhood afraid of her father and never felt safe- We are supposed to trust the men in our lives. I am talking about our fathers, mates and employers. Having fear instilled in you, by any of these men, is enough to ruin a female for life. When Manfred was coercing me….was it fair that he allowed me to believe that I could lose my job….if we were to have sex and we were to get caught? Do you think that I would get fired? Do you think that he would get fired? I told him several times that I did not need to have sex with the owner of the company. Look at the disaster that I had just escaped. In the many times that I told Manfred that I did not need or want to have sex with him, he never told me that I wouldn’t lose my job…if I were to agree to have sex with him…and  we to get caught. I’d had enough tragedies in my life. I did not need to lose my job over having sex with the owner, especially when I didn’t want to. I would have completely understood getting fired over Yancey. I agreed to have sex with him. I would have been punished for my wrong doings.

Why am I being punished over a man who instills fear into his employees…in order to obtain sexual favors from them? I should have NEVER been put in that position!

2. She spent a lot of time angry with her mother too. Her mother knew what was going on and did nothing to help her- I am very upset by the fact that Mrs. Kammerer knows that hers husband is a womanizer and has allowed him to get away with everything that he has done. This makes her an enabler, Trust me, if Manfred can use this against her…in court…to get out of trouble…he will!

3. She wasn’t allowed to have friends or a social life- Manfred criticizes everyone and everything. He knew that I was in a very vulnerable situation and didn’t trust men…especially men  who were out to harm me. He knew that I was destitute emotionally and financially…therefore, I did not have the resources to afford any extra curricular activities. Manfred did not want me to like anyone or anything but him. If I was miserable, broke and alone…he could easily convince me…that the best I could do, was him! See how that worked out for him.

4. Her father never bought her anything- Do you know what it felt like….to have to curse Manfred out…to get him to buy me flowers…or coffee…or a birthday present?…things that I have other men trying to do for me, on a daily basis! I had to force him to do anything for me. I didn’t want to be with him. He is, however, married…and he should not be using women for sex…unless they are getting out of it, what they need. For Manfred to expect the world…and take it as if you he is entitled…yet, the woman that he was using as a sperm bank would be crying so hard…that she could vomit….because he acts like a jack ass when you are asked for help, with ANYTHING! Manfred is an emotional and leech! He should not be stripping others of things that they cannot afford to lose!

5. He wanted her to feel rejected and not have the ability to desire more than what she had…which was nothing- A person has to feel extremely worthless, in order to contemplate suicide. That would have suited Manfred just fine. Had I not picketed, I would be dead. I couldn’t take the mental anguish, any longer. That would have suited Manfred just fine. He wasn’t going to get anymore sex out of me…and that would have been a major bonus for him. The best witness is a dead one. He should have killed me when he had the chance. He once called me a survivor. He had no idea and neither did I. Sometimes I don’t think I will be able to take anymore of this…then, God comes along…there is no set pattern, no rhyme or reason…He continues to give me the strength to fight. Unfortunately, the depths of despair…have been so great at times…that my ability to make the right decision is overridden by my ability to let go and let God….it’s a work in progress!

6. She would never receive a hug, from her father, if she was hurting- Manfred preys on women who are destitute. Women who are fatherless…are much more likely to end up in the hands of sexual predators. There are so many voids in my life…due to the fact that I have an absentee father. Manfred painted on his camouflage gear and set out to destroy me. I remember many occasions…when I would be crying my eyes out…and I could have used a hug. Where was Manfred? He was right there with me…trying to dig in my crotch and trying to grope my breasts. Once again…I did not want to be with him as a mate but, while he was using me as a sperm bank…if he couldn’t give me what I needed…why in the Hell did he bother me? I was given a chance at a new life. All I wanted was someone who cared about me…and I was raped…because he wanted to feel good! You know what God says about feeding the flesh…and living your life based upon your feelings. You live with it and you die with it…something I fight everyday. Had Manfred paid attention to me and what I needed…you may have left me alone. Abusing women…with preexisting psychological damage…BAD IDEA! I now spend ever moment, of everyday, trying not to be consumed by this garbage!

Manfred, take your million dollars and shove it. What I needed couldn’t be bought…now, the damage is so great that…you don’t want to accept the consequences. You can be bought…therefore…you think that everyone else can be bought! You are the money grubbing whore! Ask anyone in town!

7. She couldn’t go out and have a cup of coffee with her father or visit with him, without fear of it turning into something else- boy, do I know that feeling! Manfred is the kind of person who wouldn’t even give a woman a pack of gum…unless he felt that it was the only way that he was going to obtain sexual favors…and he will promise you the sun, the stars and the moon! If Manfred does anything, for anyone…you can bet your sweet — that there are expectations behind it…and I do not mean the words THANK YOU!

Manfred, your whole life is a lie. Everything you do is in hiding. Why would I want to start my life over with a crooked, rotten, miserable, selfish womanizer? You have to keep everything a secret. I was forced to keep your secret. No? Look at what happened when I opened my mouth…and it wasn’t to benefit you…I received a death threat! I should have opened it, one last time…to make sure that you’d never do this to another woman! Your blood on my hands…there isn’t enough money in the world!

When your life starts out with a bad men….it seems like you can spend a lifetime trying to get away from the very men you end up with. I didn’t pick Manfred…but, it sure is amazing how I ended up being raped by the same type of male that I warned him that I could not afford to have ANYTHING to do with…because it had nearly killed me…and if it were to happen again…it very well could destroy me. Guess what, Manfred? This nearly killed me and I will die because of you. Was it worth it?

http://www.insightnews.com/health/8148-growing-up-without-a-father-the-impact-on-girls-and-women

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