Classic Collision Atlanta I’ve Seen This Happen #91

Posted on 15. Feb, 2017 by in Classic Collision Atlanta

9/9/12

When I think of me, I couldn’t help but to think of you. You would like for me to tell you to stay. I cannot do that. We had our opportunity, that time has passed. I’m glad that it did. You were not in the frame of mind that you are in now. Although your current frame of mind is not great, it is better than it was…had you arrived when we had planned.

When I said that LOVE IS STRONGER THAN HATE, I meant it. I also know that you, last night, for the first time…began to realize what love truly means. Love mean putting the other person first, at all times. It is not something that you have to teach yourself to do. True love grants you that ability. Its like you cannot function if the other person if off kilter.

My morning walk made me realize some things:

I should probably write after I exercise because I able to gain a better understanding of how I feel about certain situations.

You are in the same stage in your life as I was when Manfred Kammerer raped me.

I see your confusion and I feel your pain. Most importantly, you are at a major turning point in your life. If I care about you, I will advise you of what is best for you and help guide you in the decision making process. That would mean that whatever you choose to do…no matter how screwed up it might be…because you are extremely fragile….and you cannot function unless your life if engorged by chaos….I have to see to it the I put everything I might want, like or feel for myself when it applies to you, aside.

I cannot even suggest that you stay. That would be selfish. Love is not selfish. Love, is putting the person in front of you, before you…and even if that means losing them…if it means that they are in a better place than they were…safe from themselves….and in the company of those who care for them as much as you do….you have to let them go.

I reflected on the fact that the man I love is in the same mental state that I was, when Manfred Kammerer raped me. He didn’t care that what he might do to me could destroy me…..and it almost did. In this day and age….I couldn’t live with myself if I made a decision to use another person….just to make myself feel good. This person’s life is as valuable to me as my own.

Manfred, you’d value a quarter you might find in a sofa cushion, more than you valued my life. Ray Charles could’ve seen what I was battling in my Life, when you preyed on me. You did it anyway.

Thank you GOD. No Matter how traumatic my life has been at times….even though I should care less about what has happened to others because of what has happened to me….No one deserves to be hurt, lied to, abused…and last but NOT LEAST, RAPED.

RAPE IS NOT JUST PHYSICAL…IT’S THE MIND —-. MANFRED’S FOREPLAY, IF YOU WILL. I AM GRATEFUL THAT I AM ABLE TO ALLOW MYSLEF, TO LET SOMEONE GO…WHO I LOVE AS MUCH AS ANY MAN I’VE EVER KNOWN..BECAUSE HIS MIND, HIS HEART, HIS FUTURE AND HIS LIFE ARE FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING THAT I THINK I MAY WANT OR NEED.

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