Classic Collision Atlanta New Beginnings #132

Posted on 08. Jan, 2017 by in Classic Collision Atlanta

10/20/12

Did I fail to mention something?!?

I found another organization that will allow me to volunteer.

I have been way to busy to look into other organizations. I had been accepted by this organization several months ago. By the time I had an opening in my schedule, the person that I had not spoken to, was not responding. Then, Satan crept in. I thought that they had Googled my name …and like the other organization who was scared for the safety of the children….felt I may bring unnecessary attention to the victims in their organization.

This is what I was talking about last week! I have been too busy to keep up with what is going on in side of me that….I became very tired and overwhelmed…and started thinking in a way that Satan would thrive on…that no one would want me because I’m damaged.

Manfred, none of this would be happening, had you left me alone. I warned you. You didn’t listen. Now, I get to go help other victims who aren’t as fortunate. There are women that will never recover. There are women that will take their own lives due to RAPE.

If my presence can make an ounce of difference, that’s what’s is important.

Its difficult. I feel like I am walking around wearing the scarlet letter. Manfred Kammerer is the one who should be shunned, not me. Just because he hasn’t been caught, doesn’t mean he is not guilty. No one would know that better than me. The difference is…I don’t think that he will ever stop.

I caught a glimpse of the news this morning. A man will be sent to prison for killing another person. One of the victim’s family members stated that death would not be enough for what he did to their loved one. In that moment, I wondered whether that female had a right… to feel like she had the right…to choose this man’s punishment…for what he had done to her family member. I thought that she didn’t. Then, I decide that I have no idea what she is going through…and I had no right to tell her how to feel. I almost killed myself…and I have caught myself, self destructing…when I do not invest everything that I am able to…into my struggle to survive rape. I was only raped, this other victim was killed!…and the man had the most arrogant smirk on his face…as he was being taken to jail…as if it was all a joke…as if his victim’s life was a joke. VICTIMS are treated so poorly. Now a days, the people inflicting the pain are looked at as Rock Stars. Only this woman, myself and other victims will understand why we feel the way that we do…and why will have to fight for our rights.

I have kept fighting. The Devil has almost convinced me, at times…that I am not making a difference…that no one will want me now…and, that I should quit.

Well Satan/Manfred…that’s CRAP! I was tired…and that is when the Devil makes his greatest impact.

My voicemails and emails were lost in the shuffle….but, never fear….my intentions are good and all I want is to help others. I received a return phone call from a place that welcomes my help. Now, my love for others will survive Manfred’s hatred!

I am going to take what you did to me and use it… to let others know that some people, like you…are just SICK and HATEFUL and CANNOT BE HELPED.

The sooner we can fully understand this, the sooner we can move on…and that just makes people like Manfred sick. Misery love company…and people like Manfred cannot stand to see others happy….especially at their expense.

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