Classic Collision Atlanta What Now? #174

Posted on 30. Nov, 2016 by in Classic Collision Atlanta

12/2/12

Manfred Kammerer and the aftermath.

So, you are supposed to write each morning and you don’t. You changed to writing after you exercised and you eventually quit. You began to journal throughout the day…as you collected your various thoughts…you became too busy or could care less. You then would forced yourself to write before you went to sleep…only because you have to write something everyday.

Do you really not care? After all, you are one of the most caring people that you know…or, is it too painful to accept that rapists like Manfred are continuing to “do what they do” daily and no one is willing to do ANYTHING about it. Did my body and my brain take a small break for the events to come? I seem to have no emotion…how am I supposed to feel anything about what I am writing…when I don’t even feel anything for Manfred, any longer…not even disgust.

Six years of my life GONE to a man who manipulated me into to thinking that he would never lie to me, use me or hurt me…after he raped me.

Oh, I remember why I am writing now…he has no conscience…raping me didn’t hurt him…watching me deteriorate mentally, in front of him, didn’t hurt him…and cyber bulling me isn’t hurting him…

It seems that at some of my lowest points in life…when I had recovered…and was ready to start anew…there always has been a Manfred…waiting in the wings…to assure me that they would never cause me the kind of harm that I had informed them of my having survived.

This is not a reminder that I have to assume the worst in others…this is to remind me that each and every time I think that its over…another dirt bag will likely mistake my kindness for weakness…and I cannot afford to go through this kind of garbage any longer. It wasn’t fun the first time…and just when you think it cant get any worse…the worst kind you can ever meet will come along!…The Manfreds of the world.

I can rest. I can exercise. I can heal. I can volunteer. I can do what I am doing and try to figure out the rest….I cannot, however, STOP! If I stop…Manfred will pick up right where he left off!

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