Classic Collision Atlanta #338

Posted on 29. Jul, 2015 by in Classic Collision Atlanta

5/20/13

Could you fall in love with someone….knowing that they are going to be murdered?

Damn it, it was nice! The companionship, the closeness, the feel…of another Human Being. Only, this Human Being has become such a huge part of my life.

Which one? Take your pick. The sad thing is….they can only be what they are…and that is it!

Maybe it’s a part of aging or its a part of being so close to someone….yet never being able to become close enough to destroy what cannot be. Maybe its that deepest level of intimacy…where we get to know ourselves through the eyes of someone else.

There has never been a shortage of opportunities…and now, once in a while…I’d like for it to be more than that. Yet, it can never be!

Before, I was so exciting…the forbidden fruit. No one was willing to accept that I was way too much for them to handle…and they dove in, head first into the shallow end. That was when I was so far gone that there was no cure…for the end, of my insanity, in sight.

It’s a vicious cycle. That is why I had to get away from males like Manfred. They only cared about how good I’d look on them…not the fact that I was an extremely screwed up female….who needed kindness, understanding, love and support. If you cannot give a female what she needs…you should leave her alone, Manfred. You shouldn’t use indiscretions and threats of job security…to obtain sexual favors….YOU ARE A RAPIST!

Now, the end is very clear…and all of the answers are as clear as they ever were. I’ve lived it, I’ve survived it…and along the way… a shit ton of Tom, Dick and Harries who were too busy living in the idea of me…which lead to that many more years…. of me trying to find me….after losing all of those bits of myself, that were lost and stolen along the way.

So, now more than ever…when I know exactly what I have to offer…and I am in a better place than I have ever been in before…I am worse of than I was before.

All of the things that were uncertain before…I’m older and wiser and have figured out what will and won’t kill me.

As someone once told me…“I’m like an amusement park ride…and always will be…there will never be a lack of excitement….no matter what!”

But, if a man cant get past drama…how in the Hell would he get past any of this?

I WOULDN’T GET INVOLVED WITH A MAN WHO IS GOING TO DIE..NOT UNLESS I HAD BEEN INVOLVED WITH HIM IN MY PAST.

Men look at everything like it’s a business. I don’t know any man that would invest his life savings into a business that was destined to fail…and I’m supposed to believe that a man would stick around, after he realized that this is mot drama…I am going to get killed.

Well, Manfred…this is another way of you adding to your Misery Loves Company Club, huh! You  are miserable and lonely…so, you make sure that your victims are as miserable as you are?

No, I’m going to have to take my moments. I cannot get involved in a relationship because I don’t think that its fair to waste another person’s time…and it would be my luck…to fall in love…then the man would decide that he couldn’t deal with all of this. I can’t blame a person for that. I can only blame Manfred for this!

But, there are people that wont lie to me. There are people out there that wont use me. So, I guess taking  my happiness, where I can get it…as long as the other person and I are honest with one another… and we can offer each the other person what they need…its the best revenge I can bury Manfred with. We all know that it chaps his ass when another person is happy….

Wow, even though the visions of murder are more graphic…it is causing a greater desire to bond with those I love..

I have to take every ounce of happiness I can get. What I’ve got coming to me…courtesy of Manfred Kammerer…I better live fast and love hard…

God didn’t build us to live without love and companionship…

And, Manfred…God expects those of you…who are married…to gets your kicks, in you spouse’s bedrooms…and if you want sex from women other than your spouse…make sure that the other female accepts the fact that you have no use for her…other than what is between her legs…and that when have used up every fiber of her being…and it nearly kills her…that you are going to have her killed…because she is a worthless piece of trash who doesn’t deserve to eat cat food under a bridge…that’s only good enough for you wife, right!

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