Classic Collision Atlanta Developing Damaging Relationships #310

Posted on 26. Aug, 2015 by in Classic Collision Atlanta


Yesterday, a friend and I were discussing parents, on the way to the lake…while another listened. It was so very difficult to listen to a young adult, speak they way that they did about two people they should love and respect. I was totally on board, in regards to one of my parents…and right, wrong or indifferent…that is the way that it is. If a relationship causes more damage than good, I feel that it’s best to part ways. I know, always easier said than done. I think the departure time depends on the level of abuse. I just can’t stand it when the children are more mature than the adults and are having to justify why they were treated so injustly…especially when they didn’t ask to be here! This person and I have had many wonderful conversations, in regards to our parents…while we look at the other friend and wonder…what in the world it would be like to have such a great father. The first party mentioned, has two inexcusable parents. I have one really great parent. The other person has two wonderful parents…and they are divorced…even more amazing!

As we talked, I kept reflecting on Joyce’s feelings towards her father. She mentioned in her sermon how:

She spent her entire childhood afraid of her father and never felt safe. She spent a lot of time angry with her mother too. Her mother knew what was going on and di nothing to help her.

She wasn’t allowed to have friends or a social life.

Her father never bought her anything. He wanted her to feel rejected and not have the ability to desire more than what she had…which was nothing.

She would never receive a hug, from her father, if she was hurting.

She couldn’t go out and have a cup of coffee with her father or visit with him.

Joyce, in her 60’s, my friend in their teens and I, in my 40’s….will never understand what it is like to have a real father.

The unfortunate thing is…I still have a chance and my friend still has a chance. Joyce’s father is dead. I see patterns of abuse here. Don’t you? Sadly but, surely, all of us wanted a relationships with our fathers…no matter how absent or abusive they may have been….

See does matter if it is something that a person was exposed to, when they grew up…I think that’s why you pray on women who are broken. They are very screwed a sense that they are not fully able to distinguish a person’s motives….especially when it’s the motives of someone they are supposed to trust…father, husband, employer…whatever the case may be. A woman who has been abused is 10 times likelier to fall into hands of a person such as you.

Joyce said that she was suspicious of her current husband…for a very long time. She expected him to be as awful as her father was…and her father’s intentions were to keep her to himself. Some women get married, to escape their fathers..and end up with someone just as horrible as their father. Joyce was fortunate enough to be saved by a man, who is indeed, a REAL MAN!

To this day, I have not been able to have a successful relationship with a good man…and just when I thought that the worst was over and I was willing to take a chance..on life and love..and the ups and downs that come with….I fell into the hands on one of the biggest Sexual Predators of our time..

Isn’t it disgusting….The thing I have to be grateful for is….Even though I have every opportunity to develop a relationship with any of of the available, 20% of the male population that aren’t scumbags…I still do not think that I deserve anything better than the likes of Manfred. At least I got away from him. Nothing is better than the likes of him! No one deserves to be treated that poorly!

We think that our selfish acts do not cause others great harm but, they do. With actions, there are consequences. I was never forced to observe the consequences of my actions, until I made a decision to have consensual affair with the manager who befriended me…while I was working at Classic Collision…before Manfred Kammerer raped me. That is why I was extremely opposed to Manfred’s advances. First of all, I didn’t want him. If I did, I would have befriended him,  I would have shown interest in him or I would have taken him up on his many the very beginning. I didn’t find Manfred attractive and I thought he was an arrogant jerk. After the s— hit the fan, I sure as Hell wasn’t interested in having another affair in the workplace. One disaster was enough. I just wanted to be thankful that more damage had not been done and move on…..but, the damage was and is far form being over…by a long shot!


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